And then honestly I randomly decided to end my novel.
I just felt done, but I knew I wasn't really done. The new ending seems better to me now. I've tied up a few more loose ends, and managed to kill someone. Some of my beta readers told me that I needed someone to die during the fight scenes. And I agreed--the type of fighting my characters do just isn't as cool or as real without some sort of casualties. But I didn't know who to kill--I liked all of my major characters, and I'm planning on using them later on in the series. And then it hit me! And so he's dead.
It's funny, but now I feel like I can really dig into the revision process a lot more. I needed that resolution before I could move forward.
Total subject change. So I've never talked to other people (nonwriter people) or friends and family that really know me of my writing desire. But on facebook, I've been putting comments in my status. It's funny because my high school friends don't seem too surprised (I was on the Literary Magazine staff), but my adult friends all do. But I've gotten so much positive feedback, I don't know why I wasn't letting on that I want to be a published author. Maybe the dream is so fragile and the process is so hard, that it is hard for me to make it public. Plus I'm not really a outgoing person--things are rarely about me. I like blogging because it is just out there.