Monday, October 26, 2009

Last week I was pretty much blog silent. I almost did a Friday Five, but I decided I didn't have time. My husband and I went out of town to celebrate our tenth anniversary. We went a few months late so we could go to an amusement park and not be miserable. We had a lot of fun and I didn't write anything the whole weekend. I didn't read either. It was very strange for me.

Lately I've been trying to add exercise back into my routine, and it doesn't happen unless I get up and do it first thing. I'm not much of a morning person anymore since I usually write at night. This has been totally weighing me down. I wish that I could just schedule little slots of time and do exactly what I plan in those slots. I've sat down and made schedule after schedule (I'm geeky that way) and they never work out. I keep telling myself I only have three more years until all my kids are in school. (But then I freak out that my baby will be in kindergarten in three years--honestly it's a catch 22.)

But until then what am I supposed to do? How do I find that elusive balance? That is what I'm trying to figure out.

And my manuscript, oh my manuscript. Every time I think I'm done I decide I'm not. And now I'm at a point where I'm afraid that I've ruined everything. I know I've got to make a few major plot changes. But am I losing what I wanted in the first place, and does what I wanted matter if I end up with a better book?

I've been dragging my feet on the current round of rewrites just because I'm not sure that they are right for me. I'm so frustrated that I'm seriously considering putting the manuscript aside for a month and writing another novel and then coming back to it. I don't know if it makes sense long term or not.

There was an interesting blog post by Elana Johnson about confidence and all day I've thought about my confidence. The thing is I know that I will be a published author and a career one at that. I know it very deep down. I am willing to work hard at it. I'm willing to learn and I know that with each thing I write I get better. I know I can do this.

Have a great week and I'll post a Friday Five Halloween style this week.


L.T. Elliot said...

Happy Anniversary (10 years! Way to go!) and it's great to see you again.
I'm sorry about the scheduling problems.
You may be right about just working on something else for a while. I once felt like bawling every time I looked at my MS and I took a month or two away from it and when I came back, I could see what needed to be let go of and what I could hold on to. Best of luck, Mim. You can do it!

Julie said...

Maybe you need a break. But not too long. Your book is great and I think the timing can't wait. Good luck. I am rooting for you.

Patti said...

I took a month long break from my novel and it helped a lot. I wrote something else and by the time I went back to it I felt I had a better handle on some of my problems.

It's hard to be patient.

Jessie Oliveros said...

There's nothing wrong with putting it away for awhile. Time away from it and things will start to make more sense. But then again, an author once told me that with self-editing "at one point you are not making it better, you are just making it different." Maybe it's more ready than you know, but the story is such a part of you that you can't stop trying to improve it.